Alot of concern~~

Today is a special day. I have been given a chance to lead p&w. It’s really a good experience. Before Sunday, I do my devotion except for Friday. I pray to God that Holy Spirit be with me. I don’t want to serve Lord without any meaning. I scared I will do the same mistake like last time. Sometimes I reject to be the presenter in front due to this. Human always weak and easy being attack by demon. I hate myself being arrogant!! I want to learn to be humble. I wan to be humble. I wan to help people surrounding, to serve people. I want the feeling of satisfaction. I don’t need people to pay attention on me. I just want to be a normal person. This morning my p&w team’s leader prays for me, my tears almost drop after the prayer. I felt like I will disappoint her. I have no confidence. I never listen to God’s voice. My relation with God is still like young miao. There are so many things I need to improve. I…I…am so tiny. Am I able to be? I know that we need to learn, we need to build up everything slowly, and it really need time. In the meantime my homework likes a small mountain. I don’t want to let my parents down. They have contributed so much to me, and I do not want them to be sad for me. I had promise them I will study hard but not guarantee to get very good pointer with my hard work. But till now I can’t concentrate on my studies. I am very sad. Very very sad. And I don’t want because of church’s work make myself suffer like that. I go church, join serving with my sincere heart. I really need a concentration!! God, please help me. I wish to hear your voice. But I scared. I don’t know what is your plan in me. I have lots of concern. My parents love me, I love my church. I love both. I need to balance both. I don’t want to repeat the same mistake again and again. One day, I wish one day..Lord, if that is Your calling I will do the best. I don’t want to regret anything. Everyday, everything is a blessed from You.

Charity home visiting

Today I went to the charity home of those orphan/children with broken family. Early morning I had a bad mood. We waiting for the president to come for 10mins. Supposedly we all must be there at 8:30am but the president and the person in charge were late! I was abit angry with their attitude since they never pass any message to anyone that they will be late. After gathered all, we went up the bus and the journey took about 15minutes to reach the charity home. Everything went on smoothly. Until something happened that made me so so mad. There was one Lady, i don't want to mentioned her name, she acted like a very good person infront of all that she can do anything. But what i heard personally from her was, she doesn't liked to do those thing actually and gave lots of excuses. I don't want to hear more from her then i left her and help out with the things that she doesn't like to do. Unexpectedly she came out and went beside me. Oh, You told me you don't want to be here, but why you are here now? She said sacrifices lol. What the hell, you made my mood really terrible and I really don't like to stay any longer with you. My half day mood spoiled already. After the cleaning, we started with presentation and I'm one of it. This presentation make a huge impact on me where I said some points which are incorrect. I damn guilty. God, Please forgive me for my mistake. I am really not a good presenter but I will do my best next time. I will grab as many golden chance as possible to do the best and not to be regret. Jia you Jia you!!!

A usual day

Today my feelings very weird. Start to think lots. Sometime I rather alone so that i couldn't speak much. Maybe I have hurt someone behind? I do talk about someone where i think he/she needs some improvement. I do grumble about he/she behind. I felt guilty I guess. I hope everyone can stay happily together~~ But why my bad attitude still follow me?? I need to shut my mouth more often. As what bible said: A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks to much-taken proverbs 20:19. Once we talked bad about people, we will live in darkness as we worried he/she might know one day. So guys, Sorry that i have hurt U unintentionally, hoping U will be happy staying here^^

Hi everyone! Its me, Ally. I'm back to start my blog again. Anyway..I do wrote my diary once a while. But it seems like I have been lost until I finaly found my blog back. Thanks to someone who remind me about this blog.

What I want to share today? Lets talk bout daily life. This morning I woke up quite late. The reason is I stay up late. So, one of the lesson I learnt is do not sleep late or else You will be late to school.

After class, I opened my laktop and start FB-ing. Bored. Then start my E-learning! Yeah..this is the main purpose I brought my laktop here. its 11:38 now and I gona continue my E-learning. Yeah...

Good Luck to U all and Have a bleesed daYY^^